1. Discuss what legal issues you can agree on

After you learn what the law says you can get and what you have to do when you separate or divorce, you and your partner can try to agree on your family law issues without going to court.

You have to make decisions on important things like:

• who your children will live with
• who pays child support and how much child support should be paid
• who needs spousal support, if anyone, and how much spousal support should be paid
• dividing property if you're married
• dividing property if you're in a common-law relationship

You can also say what happens if one of you doesn't follow your agreement. For example, your agreement could say you and your partner have to first try mediation or parenting coordination to work out your issues before going to court.

Usually you need to discuss things before you can agree on them. You can do this in person, over the phone, or by email. You can talk to your partner on your own or with the help of a lawyer or mediator.

If you don't have a lawyer and don't feel comfortable meeting with your partner alone, you can ask someone to be with you. This could be a family member, a friend, a colleague, or a religious advisor.

You can also think about getting help from a family law professional to help you resolve your issues. These are neutral people who are trained to work with both of you to help you reach an agreement or make a decision for you. Deciding which process is best for you depends on the facts of your situation and what you want. For example, a mediator doesn't make decisions for you, but an arbitrator does.

Talking to your partner may not be the best option where there is a history of partner abuse.